last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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