Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
