Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He? As in you personified your dick?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
