Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
