i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize