arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
