wanna go halves on a baby?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize