sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
