I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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