This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
