dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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