I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
