What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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