hotel room ftw
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
