I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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