Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
