i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
