i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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