Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
