she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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