Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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