was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
