Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
