I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
