omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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