Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
