I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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