My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
