Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
