I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
