Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
