bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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