dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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