i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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