I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
