Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
