so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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