Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

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(530): View more from California

Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(

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(201): View more from New Jersey

there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke

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(856): View more from New Jersey

he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no pressure.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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(972): View more from Texas

I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened

(574): View more from Indiana

I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.

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