i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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