also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
