Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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