finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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