If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize