i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
