I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
