you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
