Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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