butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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