I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
