Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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