so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
