Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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