their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
