Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had to cum in my sink.
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