she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
