North Korea, Best Korea!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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