belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
