Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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