Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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