I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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