i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
