guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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