I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
