you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
