you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
