Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
