Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
