I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
