Where did you get a picture of my penis
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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