I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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