first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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