haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
