i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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