How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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