On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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