Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
