I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
