You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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