Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
