I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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