and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Randomize
