when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
