I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
