Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
