I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
