YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
