I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
