farters have to be the big spoon...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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