he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
