I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
